The Wise Communicator's Guide to De-escalating Conflict at Work

Conflict is an unavoidable part of working with others. It’s important to learn how to handle it when it arises and to be prepared for all potential scenarios. However there are some novel approaches to solve an issue before it spirals out of control. Here’s your guide on how to use communication and simple psychology to de-escalate a conflict in the workplace.

1. Take a breather - If you find yourself getting heated, take a moment and step away from the situation. This gives everyone a few minutes to collect themselves, think about what just happened, and return with a more calm and approachable attitude. Make sure that everyone involved knows that you need a moment to collect your thoughts, so they don't misinterpret your silence as agreement or lack of interest in resolving the issue. It’s as easy as saying, “Give me a moment to consider the situation. I’m going to grab a coffee and be right back.” Make sure to use a calming tone and gestures. Avoid being abrupt.

Taking a breather also gives you time to plan your next move so that you come into the conversation better equipped to get through it without further escalating things.

2. Ask Questions - One of the best ways to diffuse a conflict is to ask questions since it helps everyone involved understand one another's viewpoints. For example, if someone is angry at you for missing an important deadline, instead of getting defensive and arguing, ask them why they're so frustrated or what their expectations were going in that weren't met by your work product. Doing this will shift their focus away from blaming you towards understanding why this happened in the first place and finding solutions together going forward.

3. Get Personal - When we believe we are not being heard or understood by people with whom we are interacting, conflict may quickly escalate. This is especially true if we believe our sentiments are being rejected or belittled in some manner. When this happens, try using personal stories or analogies to connect with them emotionally. Even if you don't always agree with their viewpoint, this strategy demonstrates that you can understand where they're coming from. Perhaps you can use a specific example about how you and the other party had a positive experience working through a difficult situation. This will make them feel seen and heard, which may assist to de-escalate any tension that may have arisen as a result of misconceptions or miscommunications between both parties participating in the dispute resolution process.

Conflict de-escalation doesn't have to be challenging or daunting; all it needs is persistence, practice, and witty communication techniques! Remember these three tips next time you find yourself in a difficult situation: (1) take a breather; (2) ask questions; and (3) get personal by sharing examples or stories that relate directly back to why each person feels passionate about whatever issue is causing tension between both sides involved in the disagreement. You'll be surprised at how quickly tensions can melt away once everyone starts listening more intently! Good luck!